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Name: Anna Maria Mazzarisi
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What is wrong with me? Will this ever work?

Posted on: 2012-07-31 15:31:31]

I was with my boyfriend for 7 months. About 6 weeks ago he Broke up with me. I was completely crushed. I stayed at home in bed, and missed school for 4 days straight. I could not stop thinking about how much I love him.
I went to a therapist for the first time, my boyfriend and I worked things out and started dating again. My therapist has since diagnosed me with OCD and said that my relationship with him was unhealthy.
Last week I had a miscarriage, and I have never felt so much emotional pain. Over the weekend, he decided to go up north for the weekend to a cabin, because we had been fighting a lot and he wanted space. I felt abandoned. He left me to cope alone.
Friday night when he was gone, he told me he loved me, and he promised to work on things with me. Sunday we were supposed to plant something in memorial of the baby. He was acting strangely, so I confronted him. He told me we were over.
I had never felt more betrayed in my life. I love him with my entire heart, and he just wanted me out of his life.
I snapped. I followed him, crying and begging him to reconsider. I pleaded for him to talk to me. He pushed his way around me and I ended up getting hurt. I followed his car in my car, until I couldn't find him. He blocked my number so I emailed him yesterday begging for him to talk to me. I told him I wanted to make a police report.
I guess he talked to my therapist, and she told him to cut all ties. I called to file a report about my injury, I was not aware that charges would automatically be filed. I called the prosecutor explaining that it was a mistake, and I'm waiting to hear back.
Even after all of this I'm still very in love with him. I know he loves me, and I just want things to be ok again.
Can that ever happen? Why am I so hung up on him?
I was previously in an abusive relationship, and when I tried to get a ppo I couldn't because I had no documentation. That was the only reason for the report being made. I did not want to get him in trouble.
I really want us to be us again. Help
I know you do not want to hear this, but for your own mental health cut ties with HIM AND YOUR COUNSELOR. Seek new medical treatment. It sounds like you have borderline personality disorder or BP tendencies. The relationship is not healthy and he is not the one for you. You can not be in a healthy relationship if YOU are not healthy. I wish you the best in love and life.

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Anna Maria Mazzarisi
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