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How do I go about from here?

Posted on: 2017-06-05 22:46:50]

Hello, my name is Habib. I'm a 21 year old male. 3 years ago, I used anabolic steroids (which i thought would be harmless) just one time. Ever since i used it, I developed anxiety (social and general), have difficulty forming thoughts and thinking, really deep sadness/grief and guilt, my eyesight is worsened, inability to feel (Numbness) emotions. It feels like brain damage really which never really went away. As a result, I isolated myself in my room for the time being because I don't want people to know what I've become, which means I let go of all my relationships with old friends and family and such. I really don't understand how I could live to old age this way, just doesn't seem very logical. Personally, I think ending my life would be better as I wouldn't have to deal with all of these misfortunes but I wouldn't actually end my life, who knows. I've been on Prozac, wellbutrin and unfortunately they weren't that useful and i went off. Do you have any idea what I could do to help myself? Please and thanks.
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